“But how does she pay her bills?”

The reason for that quote is because a friend recently made it aware to me that other people that know me through him, have asked him about what I do for work and when he tells them I’m not working, they question it and ask, “Well… how does she pay her bills?!”

It’s kind of awesome that I get to provoke this thought and emotion in them. So I wanted to share what I do or don’t do and how I make it through life.

So it’s true. I am not working. But let me briefly catch you up.

I was working for a friend and his Chiropractor office for about a year and half when he then decided to close his business in December of 2018. I wasn’t worried or anything about paying my bills because I had some money saved up. I actually had enough to go several months without working. I decided to take 3 months off to just relax and see how it feels to not work. I’ve taken vacations for about two weeks but never had I ever just stayed at home and chilled.

It was so interesting because I knew I had enough but still these thoughts of… “Oh my I should be working.” or “I should be making money because my money is going to run out.” kept coming up. It took me a while to sit still and be okay. The first month I even tried thinking of where I can apply but Joey kindly told me to not think about it for a little while. So thankful for that.

Also, SUPER super thankful that I got those three months to relax, I know many people can’t do that right now or don’t even see the possibility of it.

Three months passed and I got a part time job at a plant based/smoothie shop. I was also specific that I didn’t want to work more than 20 hours, that was my max. I knew that I wanted to feel energized and eventually focus on other things, like leading mediation at home.

Then there was an opportunity for us to possibly move or think about moving to the West Coast with some friends. I quit the job in July 2019 and we headed to the West Coast. Turns out we didn’t want to move and wanted to stay in Florida. Somewhere and somehow, I decided that I wasn’t going to go back to work or at least not the normal 9-5 pm job AND Joey was cool with it, we discussed it and he was going to be the one working for a while.

Some time during the time we got back, this spark in birth work presented itself and I decided to take a four month course online to become a Birth Doula. So I took the next months being a student and relaxing at the same time.

The money in my bank account started becoming lower and lower. And we had to pay off some money on the credit card we used on our trip.

Do I go back to work? Do I do something I actually don’t want to do because society has taught me that MONEY is like EVERYTHING and you NEED it to buy stuff and pay for stuff OR….

OR, do I trust that I am taken care of. That I am always abundant and that life will flow with me? This is tough for people. I will also be completely honest that my parents left me their house when they moved to Chile, my car is completely paid off and I had support from my parents here and there. Some will probably think… oh well that’s why and maybe even think “well I have to work hard for what I have…”

So one thing that I know I’m good at is being grateful. There’s rarely a day that goes by that I am not thankful for what I have and been gifted. I mean it’s truly a beautiful gift to be gifted a home to live in and some may think I’m crazy but I want to break that cycle of having to work so hard. Gosh, my parents worked hard for what we have and I don’t doubt that AND I know there’s a different way. I see this as a blessings, somehow my parents had a bigger vision for me even if they didn’t know it at the time. (I’ll share that vision towards the end.)

Also the fact that I have been provided for, I take that seriously. It allows me space to not be in a space of worry and anxiousness but instead in a space of love and a space that motivates me to continue going within, growing and healing on this journey. Because I am taken care of, I keep taking care of myself so that I can love those around me.

Something I really wanted to share about my parents, well especially my dad working hard is that he did spend a lot of time at work. They didn’t worry a whole lot about money and paying for stuff, they were pretty good with saving but still who knows what life would have been like if they spent more time at home and shared more experiences as a family together. I don’t regret our life and the awesome thing that it brings up for me, is that I want to be as present and conscious with my children as possible and for me that means not working my life away but creating a sustainable life and show them how that is possible.

AND…. I am also aware that some people truly are passionate about working and making money and they LOVE what they do. And if they have the energy to do that, that’s fucking awesome too!

I’m not completely stupid or ignorant. If there is a time I actually need money to pay a bill I will make it happen. For instance, I have several extra rooms and there were times were I rented them out and that helped with paying my bills or anything I wanted to purchase. Abundance was flowing in somehow. I feel abundant (and there are times where I forget and freak out).

I also don’t consume as much as I did. I don’t need much. Most of the clothes I get now are from clothing swaps or gifts friends have given me, I don’t buy things just to buy, I am intentional about what I need to get. I’m actually spending a lot less than I used to.

I’ve been blessed that I have supported mamas this year as a Birth Doula and gained experience. Since I am still starting out, I charged a small amount but it still helped to pay for some of my bills and things I wanted to purchase for mamas.

Last thing before my vision. Holy shit, something that was hard for me was to share or give money to someone or go to an event because I knew that I wasn’t working but when I did, when I let go of the worry and stepped into it… I either received another form of abundance or I made connections with people that I know may provide connections with mamas that may want to work with me or even meet Birth workers/Doulas or people I can learn from!

For example, there was this event that was 55$ I believe, I was going back and forth if I should go. I told myself you know what… I’m gonna go and I am going to meet people that will help me on this journey. At this event I met a woman that’s been a Doula for about 10 years and she recently contacted me that she may have a possible client for me! The abundance returns, trust.

So, my vision for life! There are so many but I will give you a gist or glimpse of it.

Eventually, Joey and I would like to have land and build our sustainable home where our pups and future animals can run around, where I will give birth to our children and where we will grow plants, fruits, vegetables that will feed us. I want to continue supporting mamas and provide more services as I keep learning and evolving, and possibly have a birthing room or house on the property for mamas. My goal is that there isn’t much to pay for and that we live off of Mother Earth’s gifts that she provides. I know I still have learning and work to do around this area but that’s the work I actually want to do.

Part of the “work” is realizing that I don’t have to work my ass off at a place that may not actually align with me, I can choose where I want to work or what I want to do. Also, becoming aware how programmed I am that money is everything and I can’t do anything without money. Abundance flows in many different ways… not just in money. It feels SO freeing to know that I am taken care of and I don’t have to worry about money.

My other vision would be to have an extra room or home and have a family stay there for a month or a few months without having to work and seeing how that feels for them and they would pay me by exchanging energy. For instance, they would help take care of the land or the animals, learning different ways of supporting one another.

ANYWAYS, for those who are wondering how the heck I pay my bills. Here you go. That’s the story.

I’m an open book, ask away and may you not feel intimated to come to me and ask about my life.

Love you all so much!

Bring in all the ABUNDANCE and may I share ABUNDANCE with those around me!

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